The Creative Itch

Being creative is wonderful...and it can also be completely stressful.

Creative beasts are wonderful and they take you for rides that can last for hours. One nonsense idea bleeding into the next until a story is born. In college, my inner creative beast was systematically starved and then trained into a literary warhorse. It was like a boot camp for the brain as I did push ups with Milton and squats with Hawthorne. So. Many. Squats! No, really, all of my teachers were in love with his short stories and, I won't lie, they are pretty good.

Now that my brain is a sharp tool for genius, I often find myself stuck between one creative storm and the next. There is a giant wall that sits right between the two storms called "the critic" that won't allow me to pass until I've justified my previous storms right to exist. I'm grateful that my teachers opened my eyes to this skill because I know it makes me a better writer, but sometimes, I wish I could go back to my untrained days.


I'm always asking the "right" questions:

Does this make sense?
Would anyone get it if you left things like that?
Too much? Too little?


Really, all of the doubt infused writer's block really boils down to is:

Is it worth spending the time on something that may never pay off?

This, is a common thought for many starving artists. Is my dream worth it? Will it all be for nothing? That fear is completely cripples the creative beast. Hanging your drive on money and success kills the passion you had for your art.

However, doing nothing about your dream pretty much guarantees its failure. I haven't given up per se, I just have let a lot of old excuses creep up like time, school, and other commitments.

Lately, its been the skill excuse because I would love to be able to draw comics for some of my ideas, but my drawing is very, very untrained and unpracticed. I also don't have the patience for it, but I would still like to try it...just a little.

One of my coworkers found out that I am a writer and she gushes about it. Every time I see her she asks how the book is going. The truth is I haven't even touched it since the last time she asked me. Full-time school and work does put pressure on the writer for time. I keep saying that I'll start it up again once school is done and I'm working a job that will give me that kind of time, but will I?

Also, one of my facebook friends has been posting all about his publishing journey and just released his first book. I'm not jealous, I think its incredible and its the closest I've ever been to a published author. (pst: He is a pretty awesome guy to. You can get his book on Amazon, :The Shattering of Chains by Joshua Patrick Smith. https://www.amazon.com/Shattering-Chains-Light-Stars-Fire-ebook/dp/B01GDSIHPC?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc )

I mean if he could do it, I could totally do it, right?

Lately, the itch has been creeping up on me. I have my big massage test coming up and only twelve weeks left of school. My creative beast wants to come and play NOW though. I mean, I spent so much time on just building the world for my Slayers book and it's just sitting there, taunting me with it promise of demons storms and mislaid spells.

So, in other words, this is just a really long way to relieve some of the pressure. After I pass the mBLEX (positive thoughts) there will be more time for blogs and Slayers.

Thanks for the moment.