Oh So Natural

You can't really dive into the tiny house or massage therapy cultures without running into a few hippie ideas.

Like, making your own deodorant for example.

My classmate explained how she purchases ingredients and then makes her own deodorant from scratch. This blows my mind. I just found out about the whole, "aluminum in deodorant is bad" thing. Because of that, I did try a more "natural" product for my b.o. and I didn't like how I smelled so I'm back to Secret Gels, but my classmate says she can convert me with her recipe.

I feel like I'm falling down a rabbit hole.

First, there was no meat. I can live with that because to me, the meat industry does have its flaws and meat in general has no appeal unless it's been way worked over. Not to mention, food that has a ton of rules attached to it to prevent you from getting poisoned by it just doesn't seem worth messing with.

Then, there was skin products. I stopped wearing makeup to try and help with my blemishes. Currently, all I ever put on my face a philosophy cleanser and a lush toner. Too soon to tell if it will help zits, but my face feels less worked over.

Finally, there's the new obsession I have with going trash free. This is becoming almost as popular as any natural, healthy, clean living campaign I've ever seen. The idea is to promote the elimination of unnecessary waste and reduce the strain in our landfills. I find myself pondering ways to shop whole foods, remember to pack cans and bags, and finding a way to recycle.

I first stumbled on it, here, if you want to check it out.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYDQcBQUDpw

Stepping back, just who am I becoming? How do I know if I've gone too far?

Well, for starters, I'm beginning to question my ideals of going tiny.

I had a camping trip a few weekends back....only I forgot that I donated my sleeping bag because I never go camping. Three fuzzy blankets does not replace that sub-zero material. It may be only for a once a year event, but it's worth having around. Maybe I'm more of an experientialist? True, I could have avoided problems if I had thought to ask to borrow or could find a local rent shop last minute, but I couldn't, and I froze for it.

As for going trashless, I'd have to have a lot more time just to make half of the things I'd want to replace. While there are a few shops around here that could support that lifestyle, the options are fairly limiting. I think I'd rather purchase pre-made items in compost-able or recyclable materials.

Basically, if you want to live as clean, de-cluttered, and natural as possible, you have to be willing to work. You have to be a planner, you have to really enjoy making the things you use. I'm not sure if tiny actually saves time like so many people claim so much as it exchanges that time for a different kind of experience. Don't get me wrong, the idea of making your own deoderant, toothpaste, or laundry detergent sounds like a fun cooking adventure to me, but it wouldn't be for everyone. The thrill of knowing exactly what is in your product and never having to smell another chemical again may be worth it, but for me, it's going to be a slow transition.

As for going too far.

I'm definitely living a different life than my mom lived. I'm even living a different life than my crunchy sister and she's only ten years older. I feel like as technology and research continues to improve, life is going to continue to evolve into something previous generations wouldn't recognize or even understand. It may not be too far, maybe it's just a different way to take on life. I know there are many colors and flavors and styles to choose from in this spectrum of natural.

I'll tell you what I'm not going to do.

I'm not going to stop showering.
I'm not going to stop washing my hair or anything else that's hygienic.
If I stumble on a natural idea that makes me go, "ew," its not happening.

As for what in the air:
Until I find a toothpaste that does it better, I'm using fluoride.
Until I find cleaning supplies, products, or recipes that satisfy me, I'll be using normal.
Make up is make up. I stopped for a couple of weeks and I kind of like it. Maybe only for special occasions.
Trashless may be in my future. It's just a question of how.

The Creative Itch

Being creative is wonderful...and it can also be completely stressful.

Creative beasts are wonderful and they take you for rides that can last for hours. One nonsense idea bleeding into the next until a story is born. In college, my inner creative beast was systematically starved and then trained into a literary warhorse. It was like a boot camp for the brain as I did push ups with Milton and squats with Hawthorne. So. Many. Squats! No, really, all of my teachers were in love with his short stories and, I won't lie, they are pretty good.

Now that my brain is a sharp tool for genius, I often find myself stuck between one creative storm and the next. There is a giant wall that sits right between the two storms called "the critic" that won't allow me to pass until I've justified my previous storms right to exist. I'm grateful that my teachers opened my eyes to this skill because I know it makes me a better writer, but sometimes, I wish I could go back to my untrained days.


I'm always asking the "right" questions:

Does this make sense?
Would anyone get it if you left things like that?
Too much? Too little?


Really, all of the doubt infused writer's block really boils down to is:

Is it worth spending the time on something that may never pay off?

This, is a common thought for many starving artists. Is my dream worth it? Will it all be for nothing? That fear is completely cripples the creative beast. Hanging your drive on money and success kills the passion you had for your art.

However, doing nothing about your dream pretty much guarantees its failure. I haven't given up per se, I just have let a lot of old excuses creep up like time, school, and other commitments.

Lately, its been the skill excuse because I would love to be able to draw comics for some of my ideas, but my drawing is very, very untrained and unpracticed. I also don't have the patience for it, but I would still like to try it...just a little.

One of my coworkers found out that I am a writer and she gushes about it. Every time I see her she asks how the book is going. The truth is I haven't even touched it since the last time she asked me. Full-time school and work does put pressure on the writer for time. I keep saying that I'll start it up again once school is done and I'm working a job that will give me that kind of time, but will I?

Also, one of my facebook friends has been posting all about his publishing journey and just released his first book. I'm not jealous, I think its incredible and its the closest I've ever been to a published author. (pst: He is a pretty awesome guy to. You can get his book on Amazon, :The Shattering of Chains by Joshua Patrick Smith. https://www.amazon.com/Shattering-Chains-Light-Stars-Fire-ebook/dp/B01GDSIHPC?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc )

I mean if he could do it, I could totally do it, right?

Lately, the itch has been creeping up on me. I have my big massage test coming up and only twelve weeks left of school. My creative beast wants to come and play NOW though. I mean, I spent so much time on just building the world for my Slayers book and it's just sitting there, taunting me with it promise of demons storms and mislaid spells.

So, in other words, this is just a really long way to relieve some of the pressure. After I pass the mBLEX (positive thoughts) there will be more time for blogs and Slayers.

Thanks for the moment.